New Year, Same result

Dear Diane,
Not sure if you read this blog anymore, but I just had to write something. This year I fell in love...again. Just like last year, I screwed it up, but it was totally my doing this time. Regan is amazing and someone I'd be happy to spend the rest of my life with. She's sweet, compassionate, smart, funny, beautiful inside and out. I had another one of my spontaneous brain farts and came to the conclusion that we couldn't work based on one little issue. By the time I'd realized how stupid I was being (which was literally minutes after it was over), it was too late.
I've grown up a bit over the past year, but not as much as I should have. I'm still the same guy who spends too much, studies too little, and doesn't think about the near future. I can tell you were I want to be 10 minutes and 10 years from now, but the middle ground is rough.
So here we are at a crossroads, a year later and not much wiser. I hope someday she'll be able to forgive me, because honestly, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Even as the words were coming out of my mouth during the break up, I never wanted to be without her. Here's the 3 step plan to my success:
1) Be who I say I am. I'm a law student, and that means I go to class, I do my work on time, I get my studying done. Beyond that, I have bar exam prep, a paper, work, and a whole lot more to keep me busy. One step at a time.
2) Be mindful of how my decisions have big ramifications for my future. Every dollar I spend is another one I have to earn. If I want some semblance of the life that I picture, I have to recognize that ask whether I can afford the time and money that I put into socializing.
3) Understand that I have it pretty good. My life has been blessed with good friends, good family, and good health. But things don't always work out as I plan them. I can't beg and plead my way into something I don't earn, so I have to work for everything I get. If I put my best foot forward and don't succeed, I can't say that I didn't try.
Okay, back to work. Lots of love to everyone back home.