Retrace

Dear Diane,
The ‘I miss home’ post is here. There’s so much I miss right now; my family; my friends; the chill of a cool October day on the grey prairie streets; heck, even Beans is on my mind. There’s one person in particular that I wish I could see right now though: Holly.
No matter how much of a jerk I’ve been to her, no matter how much I’ve tried to forget what we meant to each other and move on (literally), she’s been a constant calming force in my life for the last four years. I love her; I always have and always will. I always said that one of the pre-requisites to be with me was you had to get at least 60% of my lame jokes and that girl hits on a solid 90%. It’s definitely more than that though. She’s organized, hard working, ambitious, funny, and beautiful. And I threw it away. Pretty stupid, eh, Mrs. C?
I got the new Anberlin CD last week, which is a band that we discovered together one random HMV trip when I just decided to pick up a CD to see what good music was out there. On the album is a song that pretty much explains everything I’m feeling, so I’ll close this post with those lyrics.

Oh, how I've tried to get you out of my head. And I lied, broken words I said. Never thought I'd walk on this street again. Standing where it all began. Tried to forget when I left this town, But it takes me right back when I come back around. Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night. I'm right there by your side. Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away. Counting backwards while the stars are falling. Oh, how I find every subtle thing screams your name. It reminds me of places of times we shared. Couldn't live locked in these memories. Now I'm chained to my thoughts again. And I tried to forget when I left this town, But I'll take you right back if you come back around. Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night. I'm right there by your side. Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away. Counting backwards while the stars are falling. I need some shelter, I need some safety. Photographs, they haunt me lately. Chasing shadows as the evening takes me. I'm still searching, but the picture's fading. Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night. I'm right there by your side. Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away. Counting backwards, still counting backwards. And no where else has ever felt like home. And I can't fall asleep when I'm lying here alone. I replay your voice, it's like you're here. You move the earth, but now the sky is falling. Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night. In my mind, I'm back by your side. Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away. Counting backwards while the stars are falling.